modestmgmtofficial:

identical twins have so much power tbh last year my lab partner steve came in with pierced ears and everyone was like whoa steve when did u get them pierced and he was like i’ve had them for 3 years. i’m not steve. and he just sat down and started taking notes. the next day steve came in and was like did u guys see my brother jake yesterday lmao we switched schools

ewmartin:

crazy-jensenackles-fangirl:

so apparently people talk to their pets in baby voices, but when i see my cat i’m just like ‘hey brad’ and he’s like ‘meow’ and the conversation is over.

I don’t know why but for some reason the fact that your cat’s name is brad is hilarious to me

caramelflanlatte:

me when I wake up

caramelflanlatte:

me when I wake up

pearswhy:

pearswhy:

are cats solar powered?? why are they always trying to lie in the sun

image

what the fuck. i was making a joke but its actually true

ieroscum:

when ur headphone is slowly slipping out of your ea r and you just think no„ my love…, r eturn

lzbth:

i just almost missed my train because i was taking a personality quiz to find out what fruit I am

unclefather:

talk dirty to me

unclefather:

talk dirty to me

rachelbearenson:

so turns out the guy who discovered uranus originally wanted to name it “george”

just. imagine a planet called George

mercury venus earth jupiter saturn GEORGE

how to get a boyfriend

neptunain:

put peanut butter on a pinecone and roll it in bird seed. hang it up outside. wait.